Culture vs. Religion Part 2

     So, as I was saying, there is usually a confusion between my culture and religion. People tend to blame my religion for misogynistic when really it's my culture that nurtures such views. And of course, it's not every person in my culture that holds such views; there are exceptions to every case, thankfully my parents being one exception.
     Back to misogynistic views. It's interesting that people confuse the two in the first place. My culture degrades women by telling them their place is at home, taking care of children and tending to the kitchen.
     My religion, however, does not advocate or support this in the least. The Qu'ran says, "O, you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should you treat them with harshness, that you may take away part of the dowry you have given...On the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity." [Noble Quran 4:19]
     I think this is a pretty clear statement. I mean, like I said in my first post, I don't feel oppressed because of my religion. Sometimes, I feel irritated by the way I'm treated by other family members, because I know their influence and their ideals stem from my culture.
     It is true that my culture and religion are intertwined in many aspects and my culture is most definitely affected by my religion, but many people and leaders have tweaked those rules so they fit their lifestyle.
     The really sad part is the fact that many women living in these countries that hold these beliefs (not just India or Pakistan) have started to believe in these wrong ideals as well. They don't see themselves as worthy or capable of having a paid job or continuing their education past secondary school; instead, they too believe it's important for them to get married young and take care of the household.
     Having said that, I would like to stress that I find no fault in the women and men that want to stay home and raise a family. In my opinion, it is a job harder than any other, it is a job that is not thoroughly recognized,  it is a job that requires patience and kindness beyond measure. I applaud those parents because they sacrifice more than we can ever imagine and their jobs are 24/7...they literally never get a break.
     I guess what I'm trying to say is as long as the women know their worth and know that they can do anything they want to, they can do whatever they want! Pretty simple, yes? It's important for people to know what they can do, and this is a big part of Islam: reaching your full potential and doing your best to be the best you can be.

Culture vs. Religion Part 1

     So, because I bombarded you with my rather angry words yesterday, I will tone it down a little. I guess I just wanted to talk about the difference between my culture and my religion. Just a little bit. 

     I am (as I like to say) 75% Indian and 25% Pakistani, a mix of two seemingly similar but constantly conflicting cultures and countries, for that matter. Sometimes I feel like me being born was kind of a contradiction; the two countries have been in constant war since they were founded as independent countries, so it's a little weird that I exist (not that I'm complaining). 

      So my main concern here is the confusion between culture and religion many people have. If I haven't already said so, I don't mind when people ask me questions about my religion (or sometimes they mistake it with my culture), but at times I get really ridiculous questions that really have nothing to do with either. For example, people have asked if I "wear the scarf in the shower?" Like...what? No, I don't, just in case any of you were wondering. But that question doesn't really have anything to do with my culture versus religion dilemma; it was really just an example.

     No, it's really a question for me. I've wondered if sometimes I disagree with my culture or religion. It's hard to distinguish sometimes, because they're so closely intertwined, but I've learned it's not really my religion that has so many negative aspects to it, it was mostly my culture. 

     My culture glorifies having a boy versus having a girl and it is my culture that tells women to get married early and have lots of kids. And it is my culture that requires women stay in the kitchen and cook for like everyone on the planet. And this is essential for everyone to know.

      More on this later...it's really late. 

     

The First One

     In recent days, and maybe since forever, I've heard and read things about my religion. I had just turned four when 9/11 happened so I've been living with the aftermath pretty much my entire life. That doesn't necessarily mean that people come up to me and yank my hair and tell me to "go home to my own land" or "stop bombing everyone" but I will say plenty of jokes have been made. And, for me, that's okay. It's just a joke and I'm strong enough to take it; I don't let it bother me.
     What does bother me, though, is the fact that people think they can say whatever they want and I will be cool with it. I am not one to sit down and take it. Not anymore.
     First and for most, I love my religion. I am a proud Muslim and I don't care who knows it. Especially in this time of tension in the world (regarding Islam), I'm even prouder to be Muslim. I want people to know why I'm Muslim...not just because I was born into it.
     Fellow Muslims, this may sound controversial, and I don't want it to. But I have questioned my faith and I have wondered what my life would be like if perhaps I was not Muslim. If perhaps, I was Christian or Jewish or Buddhist. I've studied all of these religions multiple times in my life and of course, Islam as well.
     To be completely honest, I've come to a very straightforward conclusion: I WANT to be Muslim. Moreover, I NEED to be Muslim. I'm pretty sure the little organization and order in my life would be immediately lost if I were not Muslim. Basically, I LIKE being Muslim.
     And this next comment is directed to all the people who believe my religion oppresses women: I am a woman...ASK ME. Ask others like me. Who are you to ask "experts" and who are they to tell you? I've seen SO MANY interviews where the "expert" says something along the lines of "of course, women might be oppressed, but Islam is made up of other components as well." Even to the people who say that women are not oppressed...it doesn't matter. You haven't lived it. You don't know. ASK ME.
     And if you're wondering what my answer is: I love it. I love wearing my hijab. It was hard and annoying at first, but it's become part of me now. I may look uglier to people on the outside, but now they're forced to look at my inside and love me for who I really am. Physical beauty will fade with time anyway, Islam teaches, and modesty's basis is "it's the inside that really counts."
    I love praying five times a day. And believe me, it's not easy sometimes. It's hard to find places to pray and even harder to ask people where I can pray; it can be a little weird. But it feels good to me. I feel lighter and a little cleaner and whole lot calmer. It helps me focus and it's usually the last thing I do before I go to bed, that or reading the Qur'an. They're just forms of prayer, of letting go of this world for a few moments so I can focus on what's set ahead for me, so I can think back and remember my mistakes, so I can stabilize my present.
     I will say this: Islam is different from other religions. Most religions don't have a prayer to go into a restroom, and another one for when you come out if it. Most religions don't tell you you should eat with your right hand and not your left. Most religions don't require you to shave your head and wear a white sheet when you go to their most sacred temples. So yeah, Islam is different...it's not only a religion, it's a way of life. And it's my way of life.